Episode 1:14

---

Meldwyn is contemplating his next move in the half-light of the small wood. He is stirred from his contemplation's by a glowing light from above that seems to magically appear through a clearing in the forest canopy. It directs his focus to what seems to be a natural stone altar just a few feet from where he’s standing. He hadn’t noticed the spot before this instant. To his eyes, this beautiful vision of nature is God manifest and he takes the sudden illumination of this spot as a sign.

Now, Meldwyn had rejected formal religion quite a few years before, but he tends to be an individual with a relatively open mind. He hasn’t rejected completely the idea of a divine spirit and it appears as if that spirit has dialed him directly here and now in his moment of indecision. Meldwyn’s mind drifts, as the glowing light brings him back to his experiences as a child many years before; standing, well standing and then sitting, and then maybe kneeling, and then standing again in front of a beautiful altar illuminated by dozens and dozens of candles. In his mind, he is seven years old again thinking about the beautiful lights, and the beautiful voices washing over the congregation. He remembers how he thought it was cool to be born into a religion where you could engage in some pretty serious debauchery all week, maybe whack a guy on Friday, go to confession on Saturday, say a bunch of Hail Mary’s and stuff so you’d be forgiven and go to church on Sunday. This would set you cool with God and your mom and everything and would score you an ice cream after church. This also bought a pass to go watch football with your grandpa on Sunday afternoon. Seemed like a pretty good deal at the time.

Of course, his devotion to the church ended when he was eight and a half and fell in serious lust with with his catechism teacher, a young nun named Sister Theresa. Troubled, he asked himself the question he often did when searching for guidance in affairs of the heart during this epoch in his life. “What would Elvis do?” (Yeah, as if he’d ask a priest?) Of course, Meldwyn knew the answer. He went for it. He performed a steamy rendition of “Love Me Tender” for Sister Theresa, complete with suggestive hip gyrations. He then asked her out to a clam bake at the beach. It didn’t have quite the desired effect. At some point during his fortieth Hail Mary, he decided he liked the feeling of lust better than the feeling of shame and guilt and kneeling on a stone-hard floor. He scribbled his resignation on the side panel of a box of Cap’n Crunch and formally submitted it to the church. He has been a spiritual free agent ever since.

His reflective reverie is interrupted by another wild screech from his furry little adversary. He now knows what he must do. He decisively takes the high road a few feet to his left to stand before the altar.

---